Friday, May 7
I couldn't sleep in (sad but true) at all. I just 'woke up'.
And this is what I woke up to (a half inch of snow in MAY!)
We got ready to go and have breakfast. But first, we had to stop by the funeral home and meet the MORTICIAN (it cracks me up every time I hear or see that word!).
Nancy and I walked in and stood in the lobby. Dad, on the other hand, marched himself through a doorway, right past a man standing in the doorway, and over to the mortician (who was on the phone) and began talking to him. The mortician graciously asked Dad if he would wait until he was done with his phone call. After his phone call was done, he came out to meet us. A very nice man he was. Dad was finally satisfied and we left to have breakfast (the cafe happens to be right across the street, but Dad had to drive the car over there).
Being that New Rockford is a small city of about 1300 people, EVERYONE knows you are a visitor! And you feel like you are under a microscope when you walk into the cafe. Everyone turns their heads and just stares at you. But once you've been there several times they quit doing it.
We finished breakfast and headed over to the nursing home to see Grandma. Nancy and I couldn't wait to see her! It's been 6 years since we've seen her and her health is such that she needs to be in a nursing home. Grandma is almost completely blind from glaucoma, has some dementia, needs a hearing aid, and is just weak physically.
We got there as the residents were starting to come in to the dining hall for lunch. Grandma was already there so Nancy and I went in and sat down next to her. It was sad because she didn't know who we were at first. We had to tell her several times who we were and then she kept asking over the next couple of hours which one of us was which.
The way my dad described Grandma and her condition, she had one foot already in the grave. Now, I know she is weak, but I believe his assessment is a little off. Her lunch came and I fed her and she let me.
When we went back to her room, Grandma got bawled out (nicely) by a nurse for not feeding herself. So, Nancy and I made sure she fed herself after that.
We stayed in Grandma's room for several hours just enjoying her company. It was so good to be with her again. She has been one of my heroes for as long as I can remember. I love her with all of my heart. To see her health slowly getting worse is difficult but to be with her and hear her voice and listen to her stories (the ones she remembers correctly) was so peaceful for me. Grandma has always given us something when we have visited (we've never lived close to her house). This visit was no different. She went through every little thing she had in her room (which wasn't much because the rest of her things are back at Dad's house) trying to find something that we would like. And.......there was nothing (which was ok with us). One thing that struck me this visit was that she kept looking at both of us and trying to remember who was who. She was right most of the time.
(Dad's patience is dwindling. I'm not surprised, though (and I mean that in a nice way). See, he's an only child and he has the burden (or joy as some may see it - I would like to say it's a joy) of caring for her. She lived with him for 17 years before she moved to the nursing home. He loves her dearly, but he has a hard time showing it. He doesn't just lack patience with Grandma; he lacks patience with life (or at least it seems that way). He's pretty grumpy most of the time. He doesn't look at the good side of life; it's always the negative side (and can I just say that it will depress you rapidly). Dad goes to the nursing home at least twice daily to spend time with Grandma and I applaud him for that. So many people just put their loved ones into a home and never spend time with them anymore. Not my dad. He DOES love her but he gets frustrated with her easily. She doesn't hear well and she gets this "deer in the headlights" look on her face. So he keeps repeating himself over and over and getting louder and louder each time until she finally hears him. Nancy and I both believe that she just needs a hearing aid. We found that if we got about an inch from her ear and talked slowly she understood everything we said. We told Dad that she needs to be tested for a hearing aid but he doesn't believe us. He says it's her dementia. We believe emphatically that he's wrong.)
We stayed and had dinner (or supper if you're from the Midwest) with Grandma. I was actually hungry by this time because we had skipped lunch. We were sadly disappointed when the food came. All we got was about 6 slices of sausage link and 2 pancakes. And that was dinner! Needless to say, we left the table hungry.
Grandma's younger brother, Uncle Donny, came by to see her just as we were finishing dinner. He and Dad DO NOT get along. I think Uncle Donny gets along with Dad but Dad REFUSES to get along with Uncle Donny. It was amazing to Nancy and me watch Dad's attitude and countenance change drastically as soon as Uncle Donny walked in the room. Dad is VERY rough around the edges but it got worse with Uncle Donny around. His language changed A LOT, too. Nancy and I both were flabbergasted and disappointed by the words coming out of his mouth occasionally. We even spoke up and let him know that we heard what he said. I'm not sure if Grandma ever heard the conversation - which is actually a good thing considering.
It was time for us to leave Grandma. She was very tired and we were needing to get home and comfortable for the evening.
Nancy and I were getting ready for bed and I had to get my camera out and take a couple of pictures. The background on the taking of these pictures I must give. Grandpa taught Grandma many decades ago that you always buy in bulk if you can because you get the best price. That has been passed down to Dad as well. Hence the next pictures.
We finished getting our pajamas on and settled in to watch a movie with Dad for the evening and then went to bed.
To be continued...
Nancy and I walked in and stood in the lobby. Dad, on the other hand, marched himself through a doorway, right past a man standing in the doorway, and over to the mortician (who was on the phone) and began talking to him. The mortician graciously asked Dad if he would wait until he was done with his phone call. After his phone call was done, he came out to meet us. A very nice man he was. Dad was finally satisfied and we left to have breakfast (the cafe happens to be right across the street, but Dad had to drive the car over there).
Being that New Rockford is a small city of about 1300 people, EVERYONE knows you are a visitor! And you feel like you are under a microscope when you walk into the cafe. Everyone turns their heads and just stares at you. But once you've been there several times they quit doing it.
We finished breakfast and headed over to the nursing home to see Grandma. Nancy and I couldn't wait to see her! It's been 6 years since we've seen her and her health is such that she needs to be in a nursing home. Grandma is almost completely blind from glaucoma, has some dementia, needs a hearing aid, and is just weak physically.
We got there as the residents were starting to come in to the dining hall for lunch. Grandma was already there so Nancy and I went in and sat down next to her. It was sad because she didn't know who we were at first. We had to tell her several times who we were and then she kept asking over the next couple of hours which one of us was which.
L to R - Grandma, Nancy, Dad
L to R - Grandma, Me, Dad
When we went back to her room, Grandma got bawled out (nicely) by a nurse for not feeding herself. So, Nancy and I made sure she fed herself after that.
Nancy and Grandma in her room
Grandma and me in her room
Grandma - my hero
(Dad's patience is dwindling. I'm not surprised, though (and I mean that in a nice way). See, he's an only child and he has the burden (or joy as some may see it - I would like to say it's a joy) of caring for her. She lived with him for 17 years before she moved to the nursing home. He loves her dearly, but he has a hard time showing it. He doesn't just lack patience with Grandma; he lacks patience with life (or at least it seems that way). He's pretty grumpy most of the time. He doesn't look at the good side of life; it's always the negative side (and can I just say that it will depress you rapidly). Dad goes to the nursing home at least twice daily to spend time with Grandma and I applaud him for that. So many people just put their loved ones into a home and never spend time with them anymore. Not my dad. He DOES love her but he gets frustrated with her easily. She doesn't hear well and she gets this "deer in the headlights" look on her face. So he keeps repeating himself over and over and getting louder and louder each time until she finally hears him. Nancy and I both believe that she just needs a hearing aid. We found that if we got about an inch from her ear and talked slowly she understood everything we said. We told Dad that she needs to be tested for a hearing aid but he doesn't believe us. He says it's her dementia. We believe emphatically that he's wrong.)
We stayed and had dinner (or supper if you're from the Midwest) with Grandma. I was actually hungry by this time because we had skipped lunch. We were sadly disappointed when the food came. All we got was about 6 slices of sausage link and 2 pancakes. And that was dinner! Needless to say, we left the table hungry.
Grandma's younger brother, Uncle Donny, came by to see her just as we were finishing dinner. He and Dad DO NOT get along. I think Uncle Donny gets along with Dad but Dad REFUSES to get along with Uncle Donny. It was amazing to Nancy and me watch Dad's attitude and countenance change drastically as soon as Uncle Donny walked in the room. Dad is VERY rough around the edges but it got worse with Uncle Donny around. His language changed A LOT, too. Nancy and I both were flabbergasted and disappointed by the words coming out of his mouth occasionally. We even spoke up and let him know that we heard what he said. I'm not sure if Grandma ever heard the conversation - which is actually a good thing considering.
It was time for us to leave Grandma. She was very tired and we were needing to get home and comfortable for the evening.
Nancy and I were getting ready for bed and I had to get my camera out and take a couple of pictures. The background on the taking of these pictures I must give. Grandpa taught Grandma many decades ago that you always buy in bulk if you can because you get the best price. That has been passed down to Dad as well. Hence the next pictures.
Including the bottle in the shower, there were 14 bottles of shampoo!
Including the bottle he was using, there were 7 bottles of cologne (and it smelled gross, too)!
The reason for the next picture is because it just cracked us up. Nancy and I laughed and laughed over this one. Apparently, Dad doesn't like to use up a bar of soap completely and apparently he also doesn't like to throw them away, either.
7 bars of soap stacked on top of each other
We finished getting our pajamas on and settled in to watch a movie with Dad for the evening and then went to bed.
To be continued...
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