Funny

This has to be one of my all time favorite posts!

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It Was Begging To Be Cleaned

I decided to make homemade pizza tonight. It was going to be a really good one.

I had put fresh basil in the sauce and extra basil on top of all the vegies. Mmmmm...my mouth is watering just thinking about it.

It was done cooking and I was pulling out both of the pizzas. I had made one for the boys and one for Walter and I.

I got the boys' pizza out no problem. I was pulling out our pizza. The hot pad I was holding onto was slipping and I didn't want to burn myself. I tried to compensate for it and ended up overcompensating. The pizza tilted just so and whoosh, the whole top of the pizza slid right onto the bottom of my oven! I was so shocked! I couldn't believe it had happened!

Walter and I ended up eating quesadillas instead. Bummer! Certainly not the dinner I had planned!

Oh well. The oven hasn't been cleaned in a long time. Like the title of this post says, it was begging to be cleaned!

A Few Things I've Learned

In the last week, I've learned a few things.

First - parenting is H.A.R.D.!

After all the phases of raising a child(ren), Walter and I have come to the conclusion that the most difficult part is allowing them to be adults. You can tell them, show them, remind them several times of things they need to do, etc., but in the end, it's up to them to actually complete the tasks set before them the correct way. You hope they choose the correct way the first time so they don't have to learn the hard way. Interestingly, though, I believe we learn better and faster from our mistakes (or at least most of us).

Letting go of Lyndsey last week at college was easy (I shock myself when I say that - I didn't think I would be able to). Letting her learn how to be an adult now that she's 'on her own'? INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT!

Lyndsey had a few days last week that turned out completely opposite of what we had expected. In a fitting phrase I will just say that 'life bit her hard.' Add to that far less sleep than she's used to and learning time management without Dad and Mom around to remind her and you wind up with a young lady who's beside herself with stress. However, a little sleep and food did wonders for her!

Walter and I did what we could to assure her that she would make it through and to remind her that she needs to keep her trust in the Lord and Him alone to help her through this. She's only ever watched us deal with problems. She's not really had to deal with anything so stressful on her own before. But God will make a way for her.

Lyndsey made it through those rough days, but she's not 'out of the woods' just yet. I would ask you to keep her in your prayers. Her college years will hold some of her greatest memories, but they will also have some very difficult times, too.

There is a praise to go along here, too. Lyndsey was out soulwinning on Saturday with several girls and she was able to win a couple of young teenage girls to the Lord! So, even though last week was somewhat bumpy for her, the Lord rewarded her for her faithfulness to stick it out!

I do know that eventually we will hear the words, "Gee, Dad and Mom, you really do know some things!"

We love that girl so much and miss her!

The second thing I learned is from today.

Down here in our desert a lot of people take their animals to the hardware stores. I even saw a woman with her cat in a shopping cart at Home Depot once.

So being the animal lover that I am and not wanting to disappoint our very excited, happy-go-lucky little dog, I suggested to my husband that he take said dog to Home Depot with him. I mean, after all she would have a great time, right? And she's not gone anywhere in the car since she went to the groomer back in July! What could go wrong?

Wonderful husband gives in and takes Ruby with him. She is the happiest dog you've ever seen. She got to go bye-bye!

He comes home and unloads the car. A few minutes later he says to me, "It wasn't such a good idea to take Ruby to the hardware store." I asked why. "She was a chick magnet!" Those were his exact words!

Come on, think about it. Who wouldn't want to pet a cute dog? But I hadn't factored in all the women that would use the opportunity to flirt with my husband!

Can anybody ignore such a cute face? She's adorable!

My eyebrows went way up and then I started laughing. I'm still chuckling now typing this! I can envision how the whole thing went and my husband is just rolling his eyes because he wants to 'get in and get out' of the store! That's how he operates. He just doesn't like to shop.

So the moral of the story is, don't send your husband to the hardware store with your animal unless you go with him! He will get attention he didn't ask for!

They Make Me Laugh

Our family was invited to the birthday party of an 84 year old man today (He and his wife attend our church).

We went and were having a nice time. People were steadily arriving. Walter and I had the privilege of sitting next to the "birthday boy."

A couple of women walked in and came over to him to wish him a happy birthday. One particular woman caught my attention. The conversation went like this.

Woman: "Happy Birthday, Bill."

Bill: "Thank you."

Woman: "Hold on. I have something for you."
She digs in her purse for a card and a can of Pepperidge Farms snacks. She hands him the card not looking at him and continuing to dig out the can.
When she finally gets the can out of her purse she hands it to him while looking in another direction and says the following.
"Here, these are for you. I've heard they taste good but I don't know." And then she walked off.

Bill just looked at her the whole time.

Picture a thin but gruff woman who looks like she'd rather be doing anything else but going to this man's home to celebrate his birthday. I don't think she smiled the whole time she was there.

Old people.....they make me laugh every time!

Do You Know Your Vegetables?

This post is lovingly dedicated to our daughter.

Lyndsey was finishing making dinner tonight.

She was making a salad and frying some zucchini to go with baked chicken.

We were at the dinner table enjoying our dinner. My husband says, "Lyndsey, the zucchini should be brown." It wasn't. It just looked transparent with no color change.

Lyndsey started laughing and said, "Tonight there is a special ingredient but I'm not telling what it is until all of you have tried it."

Tyler tried it and didn't like it. I tried it and thought it tasted ok. Walter tried it and he said it was fine. So we asked what the special ingredient was.

She said, "When I opened up the bag with the zucchini in it I didn't realize until it was cooking that I had actually cut up a cucumber instead. I tried to get it to brown but it wouldn't. This is as close as it got." She was laughing almost uncontrollably the whole time. She continued, "Well, how was I supposed to know the difference between the two. They look almost identical. Mom, you usually get the skinny ones. These ones are fat just like the cucumbers! It's not my fault."

This top picture is clearly a cucumber.

The bottom picture clearly is a zucchini.

While I realize they can look similar the two are unmistakably different.

Do you know your vegetables?

The Easy Bake Mobile

We have owned our 1994 Chevy Astro van for almost 10 years now. We have lovingly referred to it as the "beast" for the last several years because it's so old and has had so many breakdowns. Well...the beast now has a new name.

"The Easy Bake Mobile"

Here in the deserts of So Cal we have had above average temps for the last 3 weeks. Sometimes it has reached into the 120s. Let me tell you, THOSE temps are incredibly hard to live with even in the air conditioning. Those wonderful air conditioners can only cool down a building or car so far. Needless to say, we have done our fair share of sweating around here lately!

On to the details behind this new name...

We had an appointment on Saturday afternoon. Walter and I were on our way to it when the whole ventilation system turned off for a few seconds. We looked at each other and said, "Oh no!" Then it kicked back on again. We shrugged it off because this van has so many quirks about it.

We took care of our appointment and left. We pull up to a gas station and smelled an electrical smell...not good. We get some gas and turn the engine back on. No ventilation system AT ALL! Nope, nadda, zilch!!!! It's 105 and very humid outside! Great...now what are we going to do!

We discussed our options (which weren't many) and decided the van is nothing but a money pit these days (the engine is just about ready to go out, the radiator is leaking, etc.). So we set out to buy another car (no brand new cars here...cannot afford new).

We went back to the same used car lot we dealt with about 5 years ago. We didn't really care what we got just as long as it didn't get worse gas mileage than the van and as long as the air conditioning worked really well. We sat in a Saturn (the compact car...the name escapes me right now). That was funny....we don't fit in a Saturn!

We then test drove a 1999 Buick Park Avenue. Nice car but the a/c didn't work well and the salesman admitted they'd had to put more freon in it that morning (BIG red flag). Not only did we see the red flag, but the salesman was very rude.

We asked him if he did car faxes to see if the vehicles have been wrecked. He said and I quote, "I'm not doin nothing!" Not a good start to a potential sale. We shrugged it off and got in the car. The salesman rode with us. I asked if he knew how many miles per gallon the car got. I thought he might know. He turned around and looked at me and said, "What difference does it make? 22, 17, 20, 18...doesn't matter. It's a big car! You're not going to get good mileage!" I was shocked! So I said, "Gee, all I did was ask a question." He said, "And you got an answer!" Are your eyebrows up at this moment reading this? Mine were! This guy definitely did NOT want to sell us a car! So I told Walter that as far as I was concerned he could just drive the car back to the lot because I wasn't interested in buying the car. This guy actually thought he was being cordial! I told him the sale was a bust because of his attitude. He said, "I don't have an attitude. I didn't say anything wrong." Walter said, "Yes, you do have an attitude. All she did was ask you a question and you bit her head off. You obviously don't sell many cars." We took the car back to the lot. This salesman told us, "You just missed out on the sale of the century." I told him, "No, we didn't miss out." We left and went down the street to the next lot.

There weren't any prices in the windows of any of the cars. So we went inside and started asking for any cars within a certain price range. We test drove 1 car and it ended up being the car we bought.

Can I tell you a secret? The car we bought was actually the one I had been wanting for a very long time. I've been praying for this particular model for many months, maybe even a couple of years.

But on Saturday, I really didn't care what we got. I was looking for anything, really.

So, do you want to know what we got?


We


got


a



















2001 Buick LeSabre (fully loaded, I might add). Leather seats, great stereo, fabulous air conditioning, rear a/c, no road noise, smooth ride.

God is soooooooooo wonderful! He loves me. I can tell. I had dropped hints to Walter a long time ago that I would like to get another LeSabre some day but he didn't know that I had been praying for one (I've also been praying for another model of car as well, but that will have to wait for now). God gave me EXACTLY what I wanted. I shouldn't be amazed, but I still find myself in awe of Almighty God and how He works in our lives. He really takes care of His children. We are soooooo blessed.

So...the van is the "Easy Bake Mobile" because there is absolutely no air of any kind unless you roll down the windows and that air feels like a turned on oven!

Do You Know Anyone Like This?

Or are you like this?

Lyndsey and I were shopping tonight at the grocery store. We were in the produce section when the following scenario took place.

A older man and a woman (and apparently the man's dad, I think) were in the produce section just a few feet from us. Each of them had their own shopping cart (we thought it was odd that 3 people needed 3 carts).

The woman is looking at something. The man is over at the bagged salad section and he grabs a bag and proceeds to put it in his cart. The woman (I think his wife) sees what he got.

Woman: "No, you are not getting that! You put that back right now! You can't have that with your diet! You ruined your salad the other night with all that mayonnaise you put on it! Put it back right now!"

The man then puts the salad back.

Lyndsey and I are watching the whole thing and have BIG smiles on our faces because it was just plain funny. I happened to glance at the man's dad and he had a BIG smile on his face, too!

We go about our business and all of a sudden the woman starts talking really loud again.

Woman: "I told you to put that back! You can't have it!"

The man had just gone back to the bagged salad section and picked up the salad again and put it in his cart.

Man: "I win! I win! I win!"

I look up and the man and I look at each other. I couldn't help it! I was outright laughing at this whole thing! The man is smiling and softly chuckling.

I tried not to be so obvious, but you know how those things go! The woman sees me laughing and she taps me on the shoulder and says "You know how these things are! He just won't listen! And then he ruins his salad by putting a half cup of mayonnaise all over it!" I just laughed. She actually did have a smile on her face by this time (she wasn't smiling at the beginning of all this).

The man walks by me still smiling and saying, "I win! I win!"

The next and final time we see the man he's in the bulk candy section. I don't think that was the best place for him to be if he's on a special diet!

Do you know anyone like this? I can almost see this being a scenario that will play out with Walter and I when we are that age!

Overheard

Yesterday was Tyler's 10th birthday.

We had a couple of boys spend the night Sunday night and then another friend surprised us and called out of the blue to spend the day with us.

Anyhow, the boys started out sleeping in the living room. They moved into the bedroom later on. They woke up somewhat early (at least is wasn't 5:15 a.m. like it has been in the past) and I heard them talking.

Lawrence is one of the funniest kids I know. He's very quick witted. He has a great sense of humor. I heard the following:

Lawrence: Phyllip, I thought this was a boys' room.

Phyllip ignores/doesn't hear him.

Lawrence: Phyllip, I thought this was a boys' room.

Phyllip: It is.

Lawrence: Get out!
(just in case you don't understand, he was calling Phyllip a girl)

Tyler gets in on the conversation.
Tyler: Mr. George says we're all girls so we all have to get out!

Lawrence: Mr. George is an old, ancient woman and he's not allowed in here, either!

They were all laughing and I was laying in my bed laughing.

It was a very rainy and cold day yesterday. That didn't stop the boys from playing outside. Tyler came in to ask if he could get some shovels from the garage.

I looked at his jacket and noticed how wet it was and the following conversation took place.

Me: Tyler, it's pouring down rain outside. You guys need to come inside. Your jacket is all wet.

Tyler: Mommy, it's not pouring. It's just raining big drops!

Me: (puzzled) It's not pouring?
I looked outside and it was indeed pouring. I pulled rank and made every one of them come inside!

Silliness

We rang in the new year at a friend's home. We got home somewhere around 12:30 a.m. The kids were really tired. The following conversation took place.

Lyndsey: Tyler, there's a cricket in the sink you need to catch and throw outside (Tyler is our resident bug catcher).

Phyllip: Just flush it down.

Lyndsey: Phyllip, you can't flush anything down the sink!

Phyllip: Why?

It Just Has To Be a Boy Thing!

This morning the boys were supposed to be doing their schoolwork. They were sitting at the table with their books open and pencils in hand but decided to have the following conversation.

Phyllip: Tyler, I dare you to eat a piece of Ruby's (our dog) food.

Tyler: Ok.

Tyler can't bring himself to actually eat the food so he licks it several times instead. Eventually, he put the whole thing in his mouth and spit it out immediately!

Then Tyler decided eating one of Ruby's cookies would be better. He tried it (a chicken flavored one) and said it tasted like Top Ramen, then it tasted like chicken, and then it was gross.

What will they think of next?

When I was growing up, it was only my sister and me. The things these boys do blow my mind! It just has to be a boy thing!!!!!

According to Tyler...

I was taught something the other day by Tyler - melting silver.

It's quite simple, I'm told.

Here's the instructions.

First, get out a small pan. Next, add some water to the pan. Put pan on the stove and turn on to high heat. Place silver piece in pan and watch it melt when the water boils.

If only it were that simple!

I love the simplicity of kids - they've got the whole world figured out.

What do you get...

...when you mix 3 male college students, 2 young boys, and a HUGE bucket of Legos?




The answer?











A large group of boys enjoying a HUGE bucket of Legos!!!!!!

Three college students (Rob, Oliver, and Scott) from West Coast Baptist College came out to our church today to be a blessing to our church and help us go soulwinning. They ended up coming back to our house for a little while. When they found out our boys had a HUGE bucket of Legos, all 3 of them ended up in Phyllip and Tyler's room playing with them! And, obviously, I got pictures to prove it!

No Subtilty!

Yesterday, I had the privilege of teaching the preschoolers during Sunday School. The names of the children are AJ and Tamiyah.

Class started and I was talking with Tamiyah when all of a sudden AJ says the following.

AJ: (with absolute seriousness written all over his face) "Girls have hair on their arms?"

Me: "What?"

AJ: "Girls have hair on their arms?!"

Me: (looking at my arms - yes I have a lot of hair on my arms) "Yes, AJ, some girls have hair on their arms."

AJ: "I've never seen a girl with hair on her arms before."

Tamiyah: "Me, neither."

Me: "I guess I got all the hair from my dad. I don't know."

I looked at both of their arms and they didn't have any noticeable hair on their arms. AJ, especially, was completely stunned - almost grossed out by the hair on my arms!

Last night, as I was telling one of the ladies at church this little story, another lady (Erin) came up to me and said, "I could braid the hair on your arms!"

In my own defense I said, "I asked my husband if he wanted me to wax the hair off of my arms and he said NO, so I leave it alone!" *grin, laugh*

Kids These Days

I was running errands today. I stopped by the UPS Store to fax a page. The guy (a teenage boy) took my page and went to the fax machine. He tried the number 3 times - each time getting a busy signal. He turns around, looks at his dad and says, "Is that a busy signal?" To which his dad replies, "Um hum."

I was floored that he didn't know what a busy signal was! I guess with all the technology we have today, most kids won't know what a busy signal is.

Knock, Knock!

I've had my 2nd set of children for the last 2 days (Ciarra, Kaylyn, Grace, Liza aka Cuppie). We were all at my house yesterday and the following occurred many times.

My boys' bedroom door was closed and Grace was in their room. Cuppie walked over to the door and knocked on the door. The conversation went like this:

Cuppie: (knocking on the door) Knock, knock!

Me: (in the kitchen watching this unfold) Who's there?

Cuppie: Me (smiling while looking at me)!

Me: Me, who?

Cuppie: Cuppie (or as she says it, Tuppie)!

Lots of giggles followed!

This is For Everyone Who Know My Husband and His "Love" For Games!

We have a weekly family night. It's on Mondays.

Each week one of the kids gets to plan the whole night - from what we eat to what music we listen to to what games we play and what movies we watch.

Tonight was Lyndsey's night. For the game she picked "Hand and Foot." It's a very long card game - but an enjoyable one I might add. Well, Dad doesn't like games but for Family Night he will play anything. Did you read that?! Anything! So tonight, he played "Hand and Foot" with a willing attitude.

I have to say that it was by far our best Family Night yet. We had so much fun! I don't think we've laughed that much ever!

I did take actual pictures of the family playing cards but I forgot to check and make sure my memory card was in the camera. I can only load the pictures into Kodak's software and now I can't figure out how to find them. So....as soon as I figure it out, I will post the pictures.

I Interrupt This Journey About Madagascar To Bring You This Exciting News!

The ladies from our church went to a ladies conference at Faith Baptist Church in Wildomar, CA, last Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

During Thursday night's session, Mrs. Cindy Schaap was speaking. (She is married to Dr. Jack Schaap, pastor of First Baptist Church, Hammond, Indiana). I had to sneeze. I lowered my head to sneeze quietly. We were sitting halfway down the auditorium. What I didn't realize at that precise moment was just how quiet it was in the auditorium! I sneezed and Mrs. Schaap heard it and said, "Bless you" into the microphone. I started laughing and all the ladies around me were, too.

I haven't personally met Mrs. Schaap yet but I can now say that I have been blessed by her! *giggle*

Note to Self....

I didn't set out for an adventure today, but Phyllip and I ended up on one.

We left the house at 6 AM today for an appointment in Newport Beach (a 2 1/2 hour drive without a lot of traffic).

This is what we drove in from Riverside all the way to Newport Beach. Crazy! I'm used to sunshine 99% of the time.

We get there just fine. While Phyllip is completing a test, he complains of dizziness and then passes out falling into the specialist. Can you say "panic"? Kinda but not really because I pretty much knew why it had happened. The Lord was good enough to prepare me thru Lyndsey. His blood sugar had dropped too low and he needed to eat something. He didn't tell me that he was hungry before his appointment so I thought he would make it until after we were done there. I left him at the office and ran a couple of blocks to Burger King and got him some food. Pretty soon he was just fine.

We finished his appointment and I took him to get a full meal and I was hungry too considering we hadn't eaten since 6:00 this morning and it was 10:30.

In the meantime, I called my friend Laurie to chit chat and to find out if there was an easier way home. See, I really don't like to travel some of the freeways here in SoCal (especially the interchange of the 91, 215, and 60 freeways). (If you live here in SoCal you will understand what I am talking about on the directions) I got on the 405 N and I was supposed to exit onto the 57E and take that to the 10E and then I would meet up with Laurie for lunch. However, I never saw the exit sign. I kept driving until I finally saw the 10E exit. But guess what! I was in downtown Los Angeles!!!!

I again talked with Laurie and she laughed at me because I went WAY out of the way. I got off of the 10E and onto the 605N and then onto the 210E and it dumped me back onto the 10E (for those of you who don't know that was a faster route than to stay on the 10E all the way) to home.

I ended up getting home 2 1/2 hours later than I would have if I would have just gone home the way I went!

I started counting all the cities I went through. Man, it was a lot!!!! Banning, Beaumont, Moreno Valley, Riverside, Corona, Chino, Yorba Linda, Irvine, Newport Beach, Long Beach, Huntington Beach, Redondo Beach, Santa Monica, Los Angeles, Rosemead, El Monte, Baldwin Park, Pasadena, Azusa, Irwindale, Upland, San Bernardino, LaVerne, Redlands, Yucaipa, Calimesa, Cherry Valley, etc. These are just the ones I can remember!!!


Laurie's husband, Delmas, said that if anyone wants to see SoCal in one day they need to ride with me!

So the note to self is.....DON'T TAKE ANY ALTERNATE ROUTES! THEY AREN'T ANY QUICKER!!!

My 180 mile trip turned into a 300 mile trip today!

I was so tired when I got home that I had to take a nap!

This Tickled My Funny Bone

I was sitting at the lab today waiting to have my blood drawn when a senior citizen couple walked in. Their conversation was so cute that I have to share it with you. Because I don't know their names, I will call them Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

Lab Tech: Mr. Smith, do you have your insurance card and paperwork?

Mr. Smith: Yes.

Lab Tech: Mr. Smith, your paperwork says that you need to be fasting for 12 hours. Have you eaten anything in the last 12 hours?

Mr. Smith: No.

Lab Tech: Are you sure? (He asked this because it was 4:30 p.m. I don't think too many people fast from 4:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.)

Mr. Smith: Yes.

Lab Tech: Ok. Have a seat and we'll call you in a little bit.

Mr. Smith sits down next to Mrs. Smith.

Mrs. Smith: (whispering with her hand covering her mouth so the lab tech doesn't hear her) Why did you tell him you were fasting for 12 hours?

Mr. Smith: Huh? I have been fasting for 12 hours!

Mrs. Smith: No you haven't!

Mr. Smith: Yes I have!

Mrs. Smith: No, you haven't. You ate lunch, remember?

Mr. Smith: Huh? Oh, yeah (puzzled).

Mrs. Smith: I'm going to go up and tell the lab tech that your test won't be right (he was having a cholesterol test done and it will be completely messed up if you don't fast for 12 hours).

Mr. Smith: No, don't do that. It'll be alright.

Mrs. Smith: We can't stay here. Why don't we just come back tomorrow?

Mr. Smith: Because we're already here! Besides they have to check my thyroid, my prostate, etc.... It'll be ok.

Mrs. Smith: (huge sigh)

On a side note - one thing that made this so funny is that it was absolutely silent in the waiting room. Everyone in the room including the lab tech could hear the whole conversation even though they were trying to be quiet!

Walter and I got such a laugh out of this. We realize that this whole scenario could be us in just a few short years!