Patience

What is patience?

If I knew what it was I don't think I'd ask the question.

Since I seem to be struggling so much as of late with this very thing I decided to look up the definition.

According to Webster's 1828 Dictionary, patience is defined as the following:

1. The suffering of afflictions, pain, toil, calamity, provocation or other evil, with a calm, unruffled temper; endurance without murmuring or fretfulness. Patience may spring from constitutional fortitude, from a kind of heroic pride, or from christian submission to the divine will.

2. A calm temper which bears evils without murmuring or discontent.

3. The act or quality of waiting long for justice or expected good without discontent.

Have patience with me,and I will pay thee all. Mat 18.

4. Perseverance; constancy in labor or exertion.

He learnt with patience, and with meekness taught.

5. The quality of bearing offenses and injuries without anger or revenge.

His rage was kindled and his patience gone.

6. Sufferance; permission.

All I can say is, "Wow."

My heart is grieved because of my lack of patience. I have many regrets because of it. Oh, how I wish I would have learned patience when I was a child. Perhaps I wouldn't have had as many hardships of my own doing in life. Perhaps my children wouldn't struggle with patience if I had shown them patience while they were little. Perhaps.

As I walk with my Lord, I am reminded that life is not going to be a bed of roses each and every day. There are still going to be bumps in the road. I am not promised a life of ease as a Christian. I still have my struggles with myself (because of my choices), family, friends, and acquaintances.

As of late, I am struggling with a person I met several months ago. She happens to be old enough to be my mother. I pick her up for church because she is legally blind and cannot drive. We "locked horns" twice last week over the silliest things. Those aren't the only times I've been frustrated with my relationship with this person.

I believe that she doesn't know the Lord Jesus Christ as her Saviour.

If she doesn't know Jesus Christ as Saviour, why do I lack patience with her? I should have compassion and love for her. I should. I must. But I don't. At least not yesterday. Hopefully today.

Last Sunday she was mad at me. After she let me know of her irritation with me, I had to pick her up for church. I was not exactly happy about this. I got myself in the car and began talking to the Lord. I told him how unfair it was that I was being treated like that. And I asked for patience, love, compassion, to have a teachable spirit, etc.

And then it hit me. If I show my irritation to her and start yelling at her, how is that any different than how the unsaved treat each other? How am I any different? I need patience to work with her. I must have a calm temper which bears evils without murmuring or discontent. I must show her the love of Christ. I must possess the quality of bearing offenses and injuries without anger or revenge. I must not let her get under my skin.

Lord, please help me!